If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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