Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
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