Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
