I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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