She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Randomize
