Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
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