There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Randomize
