Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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