I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
