I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
