i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
