Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
no you cant smoke seaweed
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
