Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
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