Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
