Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
