dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
