At least make sure they are 18
Why
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Randomize
