he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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