i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
if i died would you start the facebook group?
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
