I just saw a hot homeless man
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
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