Please, let me fuck your mom
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize