im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
