I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
My liver just had a heart attack.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
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