yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Damn victory sex feels great
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
