I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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