How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
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