Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
