great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Its about making memories worth repressing
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
vagina is talking i cant
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Randomize
