your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
