I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
