For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
