In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
