Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
