i just had sex bonerless
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
