I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
