WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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