not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
