Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Why are your pants in the freezer?
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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