I queefed so loud it echoed.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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