i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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