So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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