What a fucking waste of an outfit
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
