I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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