The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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