Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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