I have demons in me.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
