That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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