Swine flu. Run for my life!
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
