I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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