If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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