i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
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