drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
