i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
