this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
