he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize
