i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
