If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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