how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
