so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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