She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
