dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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