im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
