he wants to bone in the snuggie
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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