East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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